I remember peering around the corner to make sure the path was clear. Like the woman at the well, though our stories differ, they are the same. The messy places of my life hidden, covered with masks of perfection, and held tight in closed fists. I took great effort to avoid the chance of meeting anyone while my sins or brokenness were exposed.
But Jesus met me, too, just like He met the woman at the well (read her story in John 4).
He knew everything about me and He offered me living water. Life-giving, life-sustaining living water.
“but whoever drinks of this water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.” John 4:14
I don’t have to pretend when things aren’t going well or if I need help. I don’t have to try to be good enough. I don’t have to struggle alone because I don’t want anyone to know if my husband and I need encouragement in our marriage or if I need advice in my parenting because my children are rebelling or if I need accountability because I can’t overcome a certain sin in my life.
When we hide our sin or our brokenness or our struggles how can we be made whole? If we do not admit our need we can’t receive God’s provision. And if we are not healthy spiritually our sickness infects every area of our lives: our marriage, our family, our relationships, our dreams.
Sadly, a large part of the church is here. Image trumps reality. Image says, “I’ve got this.” Reality says, “I need Jesus.”
In our current study, A Confident Heart, author Renee Swope says, “If we only live on the surface with God, we’ll never experience the intimacy we long for or the acceptance and security He offers” (pg. 38).
It’s easy to accept Jesus as Savior yet continue to search for fulfillment in every other place but Him. We can know about Him but not know Him. We can believe His promises for everyone else but still struggle to believe they are true for us, too.
My heart is breaking for so many marriages falling apart and ending because after years of neglect and “image” and pretending that things are fine the secretly crumbling foundation is giving way. The tragedy is not just the breaking of covenant and the destroying of a family unit but the inability to see our individual brokenness and receive God’s healing so that we and our marriages and families can be made whole. I remember serving in leadership and secretly harboring bitterness for my husband. I remember dreading Sunday morning because I knew he wasn’t going to go to church with me and I cared more about what people would think than why He was staying home. The truth is life is hard and messy and ugly sometimes and we need help. Jesus wants to help us.
He knows our struggles even when we pretend they aren’t there. He knows yours and He knows mine. He freed me from the idea that because I am in ministry I have to be perfect: my marriage, my kids, my life. What an exhausting lie to try to live.
Not that I shout all my business from the rooftops but that I openly and willingly come to Him…surrendered, humbled, and aware of my deep, desperate need for a Savior.
I’ve found that it’s in my struggles and those hard, not-sure-if-I-can-do-this times that I know Him most intimately and I can share Him with others. He’s more real in my brokenness than my super spiritual, Pharisaic living. How sad to need Him and not be free to see Him or receive all His benefits that come with being a child of God.
Jesus met me at the well and offered me a drink.
He continues to heal me, repair my brokenness, and set me free from the lies I once believed.
He desires to meet you there, too. He already knows everything about you and His offer remains.
Can we pray together?
Jesus, we can’t comprehend the depth of Your great love for us. You are more wonderful and more amazing than anything or anyone we will ever know. Thank you for Your unconditional, everlasting love for us. Help us to take off the masks and come to You as we are. Heal us, repair us, make us whole. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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My heart pours out today as I dig into the Word with my sisters at Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies, where I am humbled to serve on the leadership team. Our current study is A Confident Heart by Renee Swope. We would love for you to join us there.
What a poignant and moving post. Thank you so much for writing this Shelly.
Thank you for your encouragement, Hope!
What a beautiful picture you painted Shelly! Hiding behind masks and striving for perfection is exhausting. All He asks us to do is “Come.” I love this post and your heart sister!
Jennifer n
OBS Core/Teaching Team
Thanks, Jennifer…love YOUR heart!
Thank you for sharing, Shelly. It is very hard to try and keep up the lie. We are not perfect. And he loves us anyway. That’s such a comfort to me. Stay out of that shadow by facing the light!
Paige
Yes, He loves us anyway! Isn’t that so amazing? Thank you, Paige!
What a heartfelt post. Love your realness.
Thank you, Cathy!
My first thought was “stupidity says I’ve got this.” because it is our stupidity that makes our image so important. My parents were one of the first of those to have a great image whose marriage feel apart. Everyone in the neighborhood was shocked, because they looked so good. Of course I can’t see the “what would have happened if” and I really stopped asking it a long time ago. But that was when my “confidence” was shattered- I was nearing 13 when my daddy moved out. None of us had relationships with Jesus so I found fake comfort in things that I shouldn’t have, but I am who I am today, in part, because of it and I thank Him for it.
Christine, I have so many friends who are going through this right NOW. My heart breaks for them and their children…the hard thing is knowing I can’t fix it. We each have to see and find God for ourselves and come to Him surrendered. I’m so thankful He can use any situation to restore us, transform us, save us, and heal us. So many of us discover Him in the hardest places…thank you for sharing part of your story here. xo
The quote from page 38 that you mention in your blog was one of my “a-ha” moments while reading the chapter. Thank you for putting into words exactly what I needed to hear!
Hi Jennifer! Thanks for stopping by today! Excited to study with you! So many “a-ha” moments for me, too!
I have been a part of many churches and the one thing that was missing in most if them was transparency among the believers. If we can not be “real” with one another who can we be real with? As iron sharpens iron so the body of Christ needs tht openness to build one another up in the Word of The Lord.
Thank you Shelly.
Yes, yes, yes, Hope. We must be real. There is freedom there! Thank you.
This is a great post and reminder of the power of transparency.
Thank you for sharing, Shelly, what a beautiful post!! The quote from page 38 was also on of my a-ha moments, along with your following paragraph about knowing about Him but not knowing Him. I always struggle with wanting to look “perfect” to the outside world, when in reality, I just need to look to Him.
“And if we are not healthy spiritually our sickness infects every area of our lives: our marriage, our family”.. this spoke volumes to me. We have been going through a “rough” spot, but I know the Healer cans set us free.
Thank you for your post, I am enjoying all of the family at P31 and ACH OBS
Suzanne
Wow, Shelly, thank you for being so open and honest with all of us. For opening your heart and sharing the words that many of us face daily but are too shy to admit. Thank you for the beautiful hope you open our eyes to, that we NEED Jesus! Image gets in the way of reality a lot and I just thank you for helping me to see this truth! Blessings!
Raelene ♥
Awww yeah. So true. Image vs. reality. Beautiful post, Shelly!! Love your heart!! =)
Love it all, but especially love this “It’s easy to accept Jesus as Savior yet continue to search for fulfillment in every other place but Him. We can know about Him but not know Him.” We can believe in Him but not believe Him. Never stop writing Shelly. You have a beautiful gift. Hugs. Debbie W. (OBS Facebook Group Leader)
Love your blog post Shelly!!! Thanks for sharing your heart!! God bless you sweet sister!! ♥
Such an incredibly moving and insightful post! Thank you for sharing! LOVE!!! God Bless:-)
Love your ‘realness’ …thank you for sharing. Such a moving, heart stirring story.
I always relate to these women in the bible that our Jesus loves, saves, heals & delivers. I am the woman at the well. I am the woman caught in the act of adultery. I am the woman who crawled and touched the hem of His robe. I am Mary, anointing His feet with oil. I am Martha, trying to make things perfect for His visit.
God even gave me a dream once where Jesus walked up to the grave where Lazareth once was & told the mighty angels to roll back the stone. Then He called out, “Daughter, come forth.” I was standing beside Him waiting and watching and when she came forth, although wrapped in grave clothes, I knew it was me! Jesus commanded the angels, “Loose her.” I was set Free and given Life!
I was healed of multiple, fatal diseases at that time. I tapered off the 38! medications daily, I was taking. His Love is So Awesome!!!
Hi Shelly! Thanks for being a real woman in your post, it takes guts! May God bless you abundantly as He uses your brokenness to demonstrate Hi glory.
Shelly that was beautiful. I especially liked this:
“When we hide our sin or our brokenness or our struggles how can we be made whole?”
Sometimes I feel like we even hide our struggles from ourselves. You know, just refusing to look at them. I have learned recently that act alone is not going to help me. I’ve got to look at it and give it to God for His help. Thanks so much for sharing.