From Afraid To Courageous
This week one of the labels we talk about is AFRAID. I know a lot about this label. Growing up I was afraid of most everything. But more than being afraid of the dark or afraid to speak in front of the class (flashback to Jr. High Speech class and blubbering my words through tears), I have often been afraid of fully embracing this space God has carved out for me.
Because sometimes mothering and writing and ministry can seem insignificant (unless, perhaps, you are on the NYT Best Sellers List or boarding a flight for your next international speaking event) and other times it can feel really, really scary (probably especially if you are on the NYT Best Sellers List or boarding a flight for your next international speaking event).
- Am I making a difference?
- Does this matter?
- Am I enough?
- Am I doing enough?
- Have I missed God somehow?
- Do others approve?
Tasks go unnoticed, words go unpublished, and these moments are not often returned with a certificate of a job well done or a paycheck every Friday.
It’s easy to look at other women and think, “If I could only do THAT,” because, well, I see super-hero capes when I look at you mamas with full-time jobs and careers outside of the home.
It’s easy to be afraid that what we are doing doesn’t matter or isn’t making a difference.
It’s easy to be afraid that we aren’t enough.
But God wants to give us courage to believe we can make a difference right where we are.
And when we understand that our value is not in what we do but in what Jesus has already done for us, we might dig our heels in and plant firmly in this God appointed space no matter what opposition comes or what others think.
Because no matter your space, “You are without limits because of the unlimited God who lives in you” (Derwin Gray).
So, “Take your staff, your slingshot, and grab your five rocks. Use the gifts and abilities God has given you, and sling them at the giants you will face” (Derwin Gray).
And if what you’re doing feels small (btw – mothering is NO SMALL THING, in case you were wondering) – consider that God has placed His finger on every detail of your life. Even this one.
If what you’re doing feels small, remember there’s a great, BIG God who loves you beyond measure and takes delight in turning even the ordinary into extraordinary.
Because this small thing you’re doing today spills over into tomorrow. And tomorrow leaks into next week. And next week could set the stage for the next ten years.
Every moment, every day, is a seed planted in the soil of tomorrow.
That means we’ve got no time to waste, friends.
I’m ripping off AFRAID and I’m putting COURAGEOUS in its place.
Because in Jesus, I’m already enough.
And you are, too.
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My Dad’s Garden & Our Souls Need Tending
Gentle, labor-worn hands steer the old red plow in straight lines.
Rows prepare to welcome seeds of promise. The ground opens and closes, swallowing tiny capsules of life hidden in protective shells.
The sun slides down and dinner finds its way to the table. Another day’s work is complete.
Four decades of plowing and planting just like today are etched into my memory. My heart smiles.
And then an overwhelming sense of pride for all the years of hard work by this man who leads our family well floods my being.
Without tending and caring, faithful intruders wreak havoc on my dad’s garden. They strangle and spoil and devour. But with knees bent between rows and fingers clasped around weeds, there is room to grow and bring forth an abundance of healthy fruit.
With the right amount of sunlight, the plants thrive and grow.
With enough water and the right soil, plants flourish and bloom.
With proper tending and caring, it is well in the garden and a harvest is certain.
My thoughts wander from this ground once also tended by my ancestors to my own life, commanded by God to bear good fruit.
Some weeks my own harvest hangs heavy on the vine, beautiful and lovely and good. These are the weeks I have tended well.
But other times my canning jars sit empty or stand filled with regret.
Like days wasted on a million little, insignificant things while a dream stays buried in my heart. Or the hours I rush through in a frenzied hurry, neglecting time with my Savior and spewing words that can’t be taken back.
Weeds of distractions, offense, and regret can strangle and spoil and devour.
Without knees bent in prayer and a swift removing of these intruders, our own lives can become an overgrown mess, yielding little to no good fruit.
This living requires an intentional anchoring of our soul, a planting in the Word, and an abiding in God’s presence. In the right conditions, our spirit thrives and there is growth, making a way for good fruit.
Without these things, we can wither and become barren, failing to fulfill the purpose and plans laid out before us.
Like my dad’s garden, our souls need proper tending and care so that the fruit of our lives is sweet and beautiful, nourishing all those God places in our path.
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I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. ~ John 15:5
Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God’s consecrated people). ~ Ephesians 6:18 AMP
With my whole heart have I sought You, inquiring for and of You and yearning for You; Oh, let me not wander or step aside [either in ignorance or willfully] from Your commandments. Your word have I laid up in my heart, that I might not sin against You. ~ Psalm 119:10-11 AMP
When God Seemed Scary
I remember being afraid of God.
Not the reverencing, hold-in-high-esteem-because-He’s-God kind of afraid.
Just plain scared.
Because God seemed scary.
My mind created an image of Him based on things I heard or experienced and attributed to this Creator God of the universe. This God who was in control of all things but still allowed bad things to happen and let people die.
He also seemed unreachable. Too holy and too powerful to bother.
And a God who sent people to hell? S to the C.A.R.Y.
SCARY.
So I said the sinner’s prayer ALOT and repented of all my sins before I went to sleep every night so that I would not live eternity in a tormenting, fiery place filled with more scary things.
And, of course, I made sure to say my bedtime prayers.
“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray dear Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake (you know, if that creature in the woods got me), I pray dear Lord my soul to take.”
or
“Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done . . .”
But something began changing. I was slowly being introduced to a God much different than the one I had been serving hiding from in fear. I began to discover mercy and grace and unconditional love and a loving, beautiful God whose thoughts of me are too numerous to count.
A God who rejoices over me with singing.
A God who knew me before I was in my mother’s womb, who planned and designed me, and whose plans for me are for good and not evil, to give me a future and a hope.
A God whose faithfulness reaches to the skies and whose love isn’t based on anything I can do but on what Jesus has already done for me.
A God who desires that ALL people would go to heaven but instead of forcing and demanding and insisting we do it His way, gives us each the freedom to choose.
I don’t have an exact moment everything changed or a date I can show you on a calendar. It’s been a process for me. A gradual knowing and revealing and discovering God as I welcomed the Holy Spirit into my life and began opening the scriptures for myself. An intimate finding of the true nature and character of a heavenly Father as I bent my heart in prayer. Not just a memorized and recited string of words but a vulnerable opening and sharing of the deepest places of my heart.
In our current study with Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies, Wendy Blight (author of Living So That) talks about prayer as a way to know God more. And also how the Holy Spirit reveals divine secrets to us as we study His Word.
My heart responds with a resounding yes and amen.
Because this is where I found Him.
To know about God or to simply know there is a God is not that same as knowing God intimately, personally- His heart, His true character, His promises, His Word.
We can know of Him but misunderstand Him. We can listen to what others tell us about Him, but sometimes He is misrepresented – even from the pulpit.
We cannot know God the way He desires to be known unless we spend time with Him.
Time in prayer and time unwrapping truth in His Word.
Our memory verse for Week 3 reminds me and confirms that, yes, God does desire for us to come to Him – to approach the throne of grace with confidence and a bold assurance. How can we come confidently (freely, openly, boldly) unless we have a personal relationship and an intimate knowing of the One we are approaching?
“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).
Until I began to know God (instead of holding to some false idea of who I thought He was) I could not come boldly before Him and certainly did not understand His mercy and grace.
He must be searched out, discovered, and revealed to us by the Holy Spirit. Only then can we know and understand how wide and how deep His love is for us. Only then can we truly know Him.
He is worth pursuing, friend.
There is treasure in finding Him.
Hearts are filled and lives are changed in the presence of this Holy God who loves us more than anyone can ever explain to us.
You, too, can know Him.
No matter where you are in your journey, make the choice today to know Him more.
Spend time with Him in prayer.
Discover Him through His Word and Holy Spirit.
And prepare to be amazed.
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Linking with Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies – Living So That Blog Hop. (Topic 2: Finding Treasure in the Word)